I think I've turned a new leaf in my artistic journey. I've been realizing more and more lately how I haven't enjoyed drawing in a very long time. I've been under the impression that a.) people judge me by how well I can draw, so I need to prove myself to be acceptable, b.) there's dozens of artists on DA even Younger than me who draw/paint better, so therefore I should be further along than I am, and c.) since I don't feel like I measure up, I get discouraged, and drawing is simply a reminder of how far I've missed the boat. I've known in my head all along that it's wrong thinking, but knowing what the problem is doesn't fix it any more than knowing you're an alcoholic frees you from the addiction. At any rate, I found it interesting that the several artists who inspire me the most right now seem to have something in common: They both have obvious anatomy flaws in almost everything they submit, but you can just sense that they're having fun in what they do, and by the time they're done with the coloring, textures, expressions, and a little extra flair, the anatomy hardly matters, and it makes a decent picture overall! And I want that to be my first goal as I work through this stronghold that's been keeping me chained for so long: To learn how to enjoy art once again. Because I feel that if I can just get the ball rolling, and Start making art again, I'll improve as I go, and gain more confidence to start addressing the things that I could get better at.

So! With that in mind, I've started a new sketchbook, with terms of use! XP Sort of an unwritten agreement with myself that the moment I'm not having fun anymore, and am more concerned with making it perfect (or that it's not good enough), I need to stop and put the sketchbook away.
had some good pointers along that line: 1.) If you don't know how to draw it, take the time to find a reference (or several), and LEARN how to draw it. 2.) One of the advantages of drawing with a permanent medium (such as ink, or scratchboard) can be that you have to like it, and just roll with the mistakes. (I'm not sure I understand the "Have to like it" part yet, but I can understand the importance of pushing through a sticky spot and waiting to judge it until the finished product. More often than not, when the whole piece is completed, the mistake doesn't stand out as much anymore.)

So. I plan to upload a few things tonight and in the coming days. (Finally! Woo-hoo!)


On another note, I've started a diet along with my exercise routine. The exercise has been going great, but I hit a rather frustrating plateau with the weight loss, and finally decided to try controlling/tracking what I eat as well. It's the Curves diet, and in a nutshell: You're restricted to 1,200 calories a day for the first week, 1,500 calories a day for the next 3 weeks, and then you go back to 2,000-2,500 calories for 2-4 weeks (or until you gain back 3 pounds, at which point you diet at 1,200 calories for a couple days, then finish the 2-4 week stage), then start the cycle again. The idea is that over time it will take longer and longer to regain the 3 pounds, because you're raising your metabolism, until eventually you're able to maintain your weight at 2,000 to 2,500 calories a day. And if you start to regain weight again at some point, you do the 30 day diet again, so that you don't have to lose 25 pounds, only like, 5 pounds (which really isn't bad).

Since starting the diet, I've finally broken that plateau (I weighed myself daily for over a month, and was losing and regaining the same 3 pounds before the diet)! Now I'm down 13 pounds from my starting weight, and am optimistic about the future. On a day to day basis, the diet can be challenging; the foods are not what I'm used to, and this morning I couldn't even eat most of the scrambled eggs (substitute. Not the real thing) and veggie-sausages (they were ok the first time, but today it just didn't settle). I'm thinking I'll have to experiment some more, and eat the diet foods that I like (the whole wheat bread isn't bad when you toast it and add peanut butter), and for the rest of it, just eat smaller quantities of the regular foods. It's still hard to get as much protein as they're expecting me to get within the calorie restrictions, but as long as I'm making an effort and writing things down, I know I'm doing better than if I just ate whatever whenever.


Hope everything is well with you guys! s to those few awesome people who actually read all of my journals (even the long ones)!! (I don't expect anyone to, but I post them in case people are interested, and when they are, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy!)